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The Vancouver Sun, Tuesday, Jan. 13, 1987

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If you could write a
sonnet, why not try
Salmon Arm test?

It’s sonnet time in Salmon Arm

again.
. It is also ‘“‘un-sonnet’’ time for
those poets who can’t quite get the
hang of iambic pentameter or
whose couplets don’t quite mesh
with their quatrains in accepted
sonnet form.

Three years ago, an advertising
writer for Martini and Rossi ver-
mouth produced an ad that said
‘‘More people in Canada drink
Martini and Rossi extra dry than
compose sonnets in Salmon Arm
t. ”

"Salmon Arm, otherwise known as
_ the place where former Prime Min-
ister Pierre Trudeau delivered a
finger gesture some years ago, took
the ad as a challenge and sponsored
a sonnet contest.

The third annual Salmon Arm
, Sonnet Writing Contest is now ac-
’ cepting entries until March 15, said
contest organizer Les Ellenor, an
English instructor at Okanagan
College.

Prizes are $500 and a vacation
week in Salmon Arm for the best
sonnet. There is a second prize of
$250 and a weekend in Salmon Arm
and 10 book prizes for runners up.

There is a $250 prize and a week-
end for the best ‘‘un-sonnet’”’ and

five book prizes for runners up. An
“un-sonnet” is a 14-line poem that
is technically not a sonnet, said a
Ellenor,

True sonnets are in traditional
forms. The Petrarchan sonnet, that

originated in Italy, is a 14-line poem -

consisting of an octave and sestet
with specific rhyming patterns.
Each line contains five internal
rythmns known as iambic pentam-
eter. The octave usually sets out a
problem or situation ane the sestet
resolves it.

An Elizabethan, or Shake-
spearian sonnet, contains three
quatrains followed by a rhyming
couplet, all in iambic pentameter.

Ellenor said the contest judges
will also consider ‘‘modern”’ son-
nets that are variations or mixtures
of the classic sonnet form.

In the past, however, some writ-
ers of 14-line poems failed to qualify
as any kind of sonnet at all. These
will be judged this year as “‘un-son-
nets” Ellenor said.

Contest entries should be sent to
Sonnet Contest, Box 999, Salmon
Arm, B.C., VOE 2T9. There is a $2
entry fee for each poem submitted
and a limit of no more than two
poems per contestant:

‘The Folios

‘relat +t
eases Nov. 13, 1986, , 33

JARGON GETS
A WORKOUT

News Services

WASHINGTON — Thousands .

of us may have put away a car-
bohydrate-laminated bovine

‘protein wafer for lunch, and

didn’ teven known it.

‘But to those who haven't
fallen for the curious form of
high-tech double-speak cur-
rently circulating, that’s just

another way to describe a ham- :

burger.

So, congealed sucrated alka-
loids are chocolates. ~

They're just two of the terms
humorist Edward Tenner has
compiled in his new book, Tech
Speak.

It comes in manual form and
is designed to teach anyone to
sound computer-wise, hard-
ware-smart and even a little pre-
tentious in a high-tech way.

The spoof is meant for fun,
but it also has a serious point.

“It's also a kind of plea for
more serious study of jargon,”
Thee said. “It is an underesti-

mated area of linguistics. ‘

“| think crusades against jar- &
gon have usually failed because #
jargon has really been useful to &

people in getting things done or &

in keeping things from getting &
done.” 4

Here are a few gems gleaned &
from Tenner’s collection: :

@ Calcium trace display sys-
tem. A neuromuscular-driven
text and graphics system, it uti-
lizes a vertical inscriptive sur-

face, compressed calcium ff

cylinder or CCC offset by a &
semiotic recycling biock. The
rest of us know this as a chalk- &
board, with chalk and eraser;

@ Fractional credit voucher,
or small change to the layman;

@ Terrestrial rotation emula-
tor with a percussive waveform-
source exciter — an alarm §
clock;

And coming soon to play-
grounds across Canada this win-
ter: Accreted crystalline anthro-
poid homologues, or snowmen.