June 13/97

*
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¢ Aussies: Dislike being mistaken
for Brits when abroad

¢ Canadians: Are rather indignant
about being mistaken for
Americans when abroad

¢ Americans: Encourage being
mistaken for Canadians when
abroad

¢ Brits: Can’t possibly be
mistaken for anyone else when
abroad

¢ Aussies: Believe you should
look out for your mates

¢ Brits: Believe you should look
out for people who belong to your
club

¢ Americans: Believe that people
should look out for and take care
of themselves

¢ Canadians: Believe that’s the
government’s job

¢ Aussies: Are extremely patriotic
to their beer

¢ Americans: Are flag-waving,
anthem singing and obsessively
patriotic

¢ Canadians: Can’t agree on the
words to their anthem, when they
can be bothered to sing them

~

One for the
Road

Ed. note: Doing some travelling on your summer vacation? Here’s a tongue-in-cheek
guide to the cultural differences between Australia, Britain, the United States and
Canada. It came via the Internet and is a light-hearted way to steer you into what I
hope will be a terrific summer for everyone. See you in September! —

e Brits: Do not sing at all, but prefer a
large brass band to perform the
anthem

¢ Americans: Spend most of their
lives glued to the idiot box

e Canadians: Don’t, but only because
they can’t get more American channels
¢ Brits: Pay a tax just so they can
watch four channels

¢ Aussies: Export all their lousy
programs, which no one there watches,
to Britain, where everybody loves
them

e Americans: Will jabber on
incessantly about football, baseball
and basketball

¢ Brits: Will jabber on incessantly
about cricket, soccer and rugby

¢ Canadians: Will jabber on
incessantly about hockey, hockey,
hockey and hockey, and how they beat
the Americans twice playing baseball

¢ Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly
about how they beat the Poms in every
sport they play them in

¢ Americans: Spell words differently,
but still call it English

¢ Brits: Pronounce their words
differently, but still call it English

¢ Canadians: Spell like the Brits,
pronounce like the Americans

¢ Aussies: Add “G’day,” “mate,”
and a heavy accent to everything
they say in an attempt to meet
women

¢ Brits: Shop at home and have
goods imported because they live on
an island

e Aussies: Shop at home and have
goods imported because they live on
an island

e Americans: Cross the southern
border for cheap shopping, gas and
liquor in a backward country

¢ Canadians: Cross the southern
border for cheap shopping, gas and
liquor in a backward country

¢ Americans: Seem to think that
poverty and failure are morally
suspect

¢ Canadians: Seem to believe that
wealth and success are morally
suspect

¢ Brits: Seem to believe that wealth,
poverty, success and failure are
inherited things

e Aussies: Seem to think that none
of this matters after several beers.